Louise and I have been threatening to go on a vineyard tour for a decade, but it has never quite materialised. I once bought a voucher for her birthday, but it expired before I booked it so, that year, I effectively got her nothing. She occasionally brings this up. On our honeymoon, we went to Lake Garda intending to spend the week drinking fancy wine in the Italian sunshine. However, our life timeline was slightly skewed (Louise was 12 weeks pregnant) and we visited zero vineyards. She did, at least, have the pleasure of watching me polish off a complimentary bottle of Prosecco at the hotel.

“Will you slow down, Andy? You’re becoming loud and annoying.”